"But Alexandra," he said wistfully, "I've never been any real help to you, beyond sometimes trying to keep the boys in good humor." Alexandra smiled and shook her head. "Oh it's not that. Nothing like that. It's by understanding me, and the boys, and mother, that you've helped me. I expect that is the only way one... person ever can really help another."
I read the above a couple months ago in Willa Cather's O Pioneers! (trust me, the book is waaaaaay more interesting than it sounds) and it has stuck with me. I don't have any ready proofs (scriptural or secular) for why being understood seems like a basic need of humanity, but isn't it?
It seems to me, too, that this need, or at least the degree to which we feel this need, has dramatically increased in 21st century America. As our society becomes increasingly self-focused and expressive, the felt need to be understood has increased and the hurt and despair when we are not has multiplied.
It seems to me, though, that with so much desire to be understood, we are loosing our ability to understand. So often, it feels like we are all trying to out-shout each other in our attempts to express our thoughts and feelings. Maybe that is what I am trying to do with this blog. But where are the listeners? Where are those who don't desire to always express, but rather to hear others? How can anyone be understood if no one is listening?
It takes sacrifice to listen and understand. It means letting go of being understood yourself for the moment. But isn't that the only way one person can ever truly help another?
"So much information is available, locked up in the minds and hearts of each person in every city. It is there, if you will but ask... When you listen, you validate their experiences and thoughts."
~Hannah
Monday, November 15, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
"Carved to Adorn" Briefly Explained
People sometimes ask me if I considered myself a feminist. I don't like this question because the word has too many definitions for a straight answer, especially for someone who primarily identifies herself as a Christian. I have stayed clear of the label and the older I get, the more strongly I avoid it. But I do passionately care about the unique issues women face and am proud of our ability to openly discuss and debate these issues as independent beings made in God's image.
Our current ownership of the debate concerning womanhood, femininity, image, body, etc. is an amazing gift from the Creator after millennia of being the silent sex. I am impressed by these times in the West; women finally have education, financial independence, freedom from many forms of physical marring and deformity, abundant legal rights, and most importantly, our own voice. Never before have women held so much power.
But power is a cheating seducer. With sweet promises of fulfillment, freedom, and safety, women's empowerment led us to believe all can be made right. It did not, however, tell us about the loneliness, frustration, and compromise it would require in return. Where once womanhood was personified by heroines who sought escape from the doldrums of an uneducated and dependent existence, today's TV shows, movies, and literature depict women who can say and do as much as they want, but are plagued by an abysmal void within and isolation from true community without.
Both the secular and Christian conversations concerning womanhood have centered on rights and actions. We love to make issues black and white by discussing a person's given or denied ability to do something. What is not frequently discussed are attributes. We want to know what women can do, but forget to think about who women should to be. Of course, the two cannot be entirely separated. Who a person is will inform their actions and vice versa. But I believe this focus on female action is what has given women the freedom and ownership they now enjoy, while the neglect of thoughtful consideration towards character has in part lent a hand to the lonely aimlessness now plaguing women.
As I struggled in college with questions concerning femininity and womanhood, I came across Psalm 144:12. The second part of the verse reads, "...and our daughters will be like pillars, carved to adorn a palace..." I have not heard a more poetic description of God's view of womanhood. David is describing a time of rich blessing in the country and along with bountiful food, peaceful streets, and strapping young men, he writes this description of blessed women.
Why do I like it? First, the daughters are described as pillars. They are strong and unbreakable. They are admired for their ability, not for their weakness, which affirms the achievements and progress women have made in society. But second, the purpose these women are given is for the palace. They are not made to be alone; they don't function self-sufficiently. Rather, they are made to support the larger structure and faithfully lend it their individual strength. We are made to live in and for community and the modern woman needs to rethink her agenda if it excludes all but her own independent life.
Finally, we come to the name of this blog, my favorite part, "carved to adorn." Another translation uses the word "cut," another "sculptured," and yet another "hewn." These words do not imply an easy process for the pillar. It is not sheltered, nor is it pampered. Under the hands of a Craftsman, the pillar is put through a process that involves difficulty and struggle. But in the end, the pillar is beautiful, designed to display its hard won beauty for the delight of all who see the palace.
Women, God has created us to be strong. It is how he has made us. God created us to live in relationship, to use our strength for the "structures" we belong to, not for our own sakes. God carves each of us by giving us experiences, gifts, and trials. He gives us these that we might be a delight to those around us. We are carved to adorn...
~Hannah
Our current ownership of the debate concerning womanhood, femininity, image, body, etc. is an amazing gift from the Creator after millennia of being the silent sex. I am impressed by these times in the West; women finally have education, financial independence, freedom from many forms of physical marring and deformity, abundant legal rights, and most importantly, our own voice. Never before have women held so much power.
But power is a cheating seducer. With sweet promises of fulfillment, freedom, and safety, women's empowerment led us to believe all can be made right. It did not, however, tell us about the loneliness, frustration, and compromise it would require in return. Where once womanhood was personified by heroines who sought escape from the doldrums of an uneducated and dependent existence, today's TV shows, movies, and literature depict women who can say and do as much as they want, but are plagued by an abysmal void within and isolation from true community without.
Both the secular and Christian conversations concerning womanhood have centered on rights and actions. We love to make issues black and white by discussing a person's given or denied ability to do something. What is not frequently discussed are attributes. We want to know what women can do, but forget to think about who women should to be. Of course, the two cannot be entirely separated. Who a person is will inform their actions and vice versa. But I believe this focus on female action is what has given women the freedom and ownership they now enjoy, while the neglect of thoughtful consideration towards character has in part lent a hand to the lonely aimlessness now plaguing women.
As I struggled in college with questions concerning femininity and womanhood, I came across Psalm 144:12. The second part of the verse reads, "...and our daughters will be like pillars, carved to adorn a palace..." I have not heard a more poetic description of God's view of womanhood. David is describing a time of rich blessing in the country and along with bountiful food, peaceful streets, and strapping young men, he writes this description of blessed women.
Why do I like it? First, the daughters are described as pillars. They are strong and unbreakable. They are admired for their ability, not for their weakness, which affirms the achievements and progress women have made in society. But second, the purpose these women are given is for the palace. They are not made to be alone; they don't function self-sufficiently. Rather, they are made to support the larger structure and faithfully lend it their individual strength. We are made to live in and for community and the modern woman needs to rethink her agenda if it excludes all but her own independent life.
Finally, we come to the name of this blog, my favorite part, "carved to adorn." Another translation uses the word "cut," another "sculptured," and yet another "hewn." These words do not imply an easy process for the pillar. It is not sheltered, nor is it pampered. Under the hands of a Craftsman, the pillar is put through a process that involves difficulty and struggle. But in the end, the pillar is beautiful, designed to display its hard won beauty for the delight of all who see the palace.
Women, God has created us to be strong. It is how he has made us. God created us to live in relationship, to use our strength for the "structures" we belong to, not for our own sakes. God carves each of us by giving us experiences, gifts, and trials. He gives us these that we might be a delight to those around us. We are carved to adorn...
~Hannah
Thursday, July 8, 2010
I Met A Woman Yesterday
I met a woman yesterday. Some years ago, her mother-in-law committed suicide and blamed it on her daughter-in-law. This caused her husband to loose face as the local mob boss. Because his lost prestige was blamed on his wife, he took her to the city and sold her to work in a brothel. He came every week to collect his wife's earnings, but she had no freedom or right to leave. Their three children were scattered to the wind. By the time the youngest son was nine years old, he was in a roving countryside gang and already frequently raping young girls. The woman was eventually given an opportunity to leave the brothel and live in a safe house. While there, her husband found her and they both believed in Christ. The safe house searched for and relocated all three children who were reunited with their parents. Their lives have started to change and the parents are being trained vocationally, but recently her husband slipped and beat his wife to a pulp. All of them struggle with deep and harsh anger.
I met a woman yesterday. When she was a young girl, her father sold her into the sex trade in order to pay for a male relative's education. She does not know how old she was, but it is possible she was around the age of nine. Her owners kept her pumped with drugs in order to keep her passive. Everything about her life is a blur, but she is certain she not only worked in her own country, but was sold internationally and worked in Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, and Laos. Eventually she made her way back here where she met a high ranking official in an internet bar. He made her his kept woman even though she continued to work in brothels. They have a son together. She eventually left the brothel and entered a safe house refusing to tell him its location. She openly talks about every person's craving for love and how it is only satisfied by the love of the Heavenly Father.
I met a woman yesterday. She gave birth to the most beautiful and healthy little boy six days ago. She was a prostitute and due to the physical harm it caused her, she should never have been able to have children. Last year, she married and this year she rejoices over the miracle of God redeeming "even down there."
~Hannah
I met a woman yesterday. When she was a young girl, her father sold her into the sex trade in order to pay for a male relative's education. She does not know how old she was, but it is possible she was around the age of nine. Her owners kept her pumped with drugs in order to keep her passive. Everything about her life is a blur, but she is certain she not only worked in her own country, but was sold internationally and worked in Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, and Laos. Eventually she made her way back here where she met a high ranking official in an internet bar. He made her his kept woman even though she continued to work in brothels. They have a son together. She eventually left the brothel and entered a safe house refusing to tell him its location. She openly talks about every person's craving for love and how it is only satisfied by the love of the Heavenly Father.
I met a woman yesterday. She gave birth to the most beautiful and healthy little boy six days ago. She was a prostitute and due to the physical harm it caused her, she should never have been able to have children. Last year, she married and this year she rejoices over the miracle of God redeeming "even down there."
~Hannah
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